- Would you date someone with crooked teeth?
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- Are Crooked Teeth Ruining Your Love Life?
It's entirely OK to look elsewhere and it's entirely OK to hang out with him in the hopes, for at least a while, that you'll get over the teeth issue, so long as you're not misleading him in any way. I'll go against the general consensus and say that it would be OK, if he asked, to just outright say "It's your teeth, Joe. You're a great guy, but those teeth of yours are a turnoff for me. I would say that a sane, sensible, good person who actually liked you would take that statement in the spirit that it's meant. Freak-outs are for whackos and you're better off without them anyway.
You haven't told him to fix his teeth; you've stated the truth, which is that it is a problem for you. He can decide for himself if it is worth spending the money and the time it can take years, if we're talking orthodontics and jaw surgery to fix his teeth, or whether he should give up on you as a potential partner and look elsewhere himself. Don't forget that he is a rational agent, he is entitled to make his own choices, but in order to do so effectively he needs to know the facts. Not giving a person an honest "no" can be nearly as misleading as giving them a dishonest "yes".
No, AND it's none of your business. Both are far quicker and cheaper than orthodontics and would probably make a major difference to this guy's look. D posted by aeschenkarnos at 7: As others have said, if his teeth are that abnormal, he knows it's a problem. There are probably monthly, weekly or even daily civil wars going on inside him between the part of him that says "No-one will be attracted to me because of my teeth, I am disgusting" and "I'll get dental work when i have the money, sure, but not everyone cares about my teeth, let's not get too down on ourselves for the time being".
Tell him that he's lovely but you really don't feel that way. Be unambiguous about not being attracted to him but ambiguous about exactly why.
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- Would you date a person with crooked teeth?.
Seriously would you be happy if someone told you "it's your nose" or "sorry, but with those breasts I had a broken front tooth for quite some time. I was very self conscious about it, but I would not have minded a direct question.
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But it's still not really polite because you can't know how sensitive he is about it, or what the cause is. I'm sure he knows exactly how they look. As a year old currently wearing braces, I can speak with some authority on being an adult with bad teeth! I would not mind if someone, particularly a potential partner, brought up my teeth politely either now or before I had braces and merely had crooked teeth. Don't see any need to explicitly say you're not attracted to him because of his teeth, but finding out why they look like that, if he has plans to fix them, and even cajoling him to do so light-heartedly you gotta get those fixed or you're going to scare children and animals!
Yes , yes, a thousand times yes. From certainties come options: It beats all hell out of your idea, which amounts to telling him: Something terrible, but I will not tell you what it is. I will slowly stop returning your phone calls. I will make excuses to not see you. I will leave you guessing forever whether it was your teeth which you could have had fixed , your haircut ditto , your height not fixable, but at least you know , or the fact that you once made an offhand remark that I took totally out of context and you would have immediately apologized for had you realized for a second that you had offended me.
I will therefore deprive us both of a lifelong relationship because I am too afraid that Because life is just that much better if no-one really knows. That those teeth are so intimately bound up with his ego that to even mention them would horrify him? There's a much better chance that he'd just say "Really? I'll go see a dentist. One of my exes had a bad front tooth he could not afford to fix no insurance plus super expensive issue.
It's generally all lip action. But yeah, people certainly said stuff to me about it behind his back, and he didn't smile with teeth in photos. I think I must concur that this is perhaps way too awkward to ask someone you don't know that well, because you don't know how they will take honesty. Just don't start dating him if it bugs you already. I married a guy with bad teeth. When we met they were awful; chipped and yellow and uneven. Oy, I'd have hell to pay if he knew I'm writing this He was a really heavy smoker and drank 2 pots of coffee a day, did not, uh Yeah it was a little ick and a turnoff if I dwelled on it.
Bad teeth make me cringe and shudder. He was also the most brilliant, insightful, tender, creative, funny, generous, loving man I had ever met. So I hedged my bets. And eventually, we got dental insurance. So the teeth were fixed. And the marriage stayed strong, as we come up now on our 13th anniversary. I adore this guy. What I'm sayin' is I'd say go for it.
Would you date someone with crooked teeth?
I don't think anyone else can tell you what's not important in a partner. If it bugs, it bugs. On the other hand, tooth damage that severe speaks to a serious injury or condition, and there may be a good reason he has not been able to fix them.
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I'd be inclined to say he probably would prefer to, even if he's a fuck-your-facist-beauty-standards type, because I bet eating and talking are probably more difficult with that much damage. Would you be able to deal with it until the day he can fix it? Not that it matters, but if it were me, I'd try dating him at least once and see if I still care after that. If he's not, he's not. I'm projecting my extreme dislike of not being told things that directly affect me, that I could and would do something about were I even aware that it was a serious issue.
As opposed to being aware of the simple existence of the problem. Of course he knows he has bad teeth. What he doesn't know is that she really cares about it lots of people don't , and she doesn't know whether he really cares about it himself. He may not, which could explain why he has bad teeth. When I said "much better chance" I meant that, if he were told "you have bad teeth", there is a much better chance of this comment, coming from a woman he finds attractive and wants to spend time with, reminding him of the problem's existence and prompting him to actually go see the dentist, than of him freaking out, bursting into tears, running away, being horribly offended, or whatever the downside is of telling him the truth that you are imagining.
Also, if he knows that it's because of bad teeth, then he knows it's not because he's balding, is a bit pudgy, likes to watch Pokemon cartoons, has a cat, or any of the ten thousand other insecurities and doubts he has about himself that you don't care about or actually like. That gives him a decision to make. Not telling him just denies him that, and achieves nothing insofar as protecting him from the pain of you not liking him.
Instead he thinks "she doesn't like me and I don't know why ". Personally, that hurts more, again because of the deprivation of the opportunity to fix it. But maybe it is just me. I'm not advocating you get up and just tell him. If you really like this man, give him a decent chance. See if you can get over the teeth. But if not, and he asks , have the courage and decency to look him in the eye and tell him what you actually think. She could go on the date, see if she could overlook the teeth, and if not, say "Sorry, but I'm just not feeling a connection.
Speaking as someone who in a relationship with someone who has bad teeth, I'd recommend going on the date but taking it slow if you find his teeth off-putting. You'd be surprised at how the physical superficialities become irrelevent the more you get to know somebody. Also, if you're nervous about kissing him due to his teeth, there's no hard and fast rule that a first date must end in a kiss, especially for people in their 30's. Give him and yourself a shot.
I'm glad I did that with my SO, because despite her teeth and my initial hang-up about them, I'm in one of the best relationships I've ever had. YMMV, of course, but better to pursue something than regret something, I always say. I once dated a girl with incredibly crooked teeth. Like, holy-fuck-get-thee-to-an-orthodontist-now kinda teeth. And while her crooked teeth caused zero problems still a fine smile, awesome kisser, incredible oral sex I let her go. Now, I didn't dump her because of her bad teeth It was among the most foolish decisions I ever made.
Because, really, in every respect, she was awesome. I can see that now. I had very deliberately shot myself square in the foot. I ran into her years later. She had found the money to get her teeth fixed. She explained that it really took a lot of work underneath the hood, so to speak. Her smile had gotten percent better. I imagine the oral sex was still roll-your-eyes-back-into-your-head awesome. But, see, I could only imagine that last part. Because some other guy was a lot smarter than me. My dad broke off most of his front teeth when he was 16, when he botched diving into a swimming pool.
My grandmother didn't have the money to pay for a dentist and since he was on scholarship through college, he still had broken teeth when he met my mom She was slightly repulsed by his teeth, but they went out and obviously I'm here as a result. It may have been tacky, but she did give him the condition of getting his teeth fixed after they got engaged following being together for 2 years.
I wouldn't be here if my mom hadn't been able to get over how my dad's teeth where when she first met him. I don't have great teeth. They're not discolored and I take good care of them, but due to a combo of poorness and the shit end of the dental genetic stick, everything's not quite where it belongs, and I do have some adult teeth that haven't come in, so it looks like I'm missing teeth they're up there, I swear!
It really hurts when people are so cavalier with their snobby statements about teeth. Not all of us had parents that had thousands to spend on braces would you ever say you wouldn't be attracted to someone who grew up poor?
Also, straight teeth may not have been the same priority for all parents, or maybe the person has a medical problem. I totally understand that you can't really help what you're attracted to and not attracted to, and that might rule this guy out -- but I just hope you and a lot of other people will understand that "bad teeth" can be the result of a lot of different things, not simply poor hygiene.
And he could definitely be planning to or even be in the process of getting them fixed. I need to get mine fixed one day, but during that whole process I'm going to look even more heinous. What will people like you think then? I think you should at least go out with this guy and see what happens.
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Maybe after a little while bring it up -- it sounds like maybe guys aren't so sensitive about this, based on some other replies? If you can't bring yourself around to be attracted to him, don't worry; some other girl who can look beyond his teeth will snatch him up. I have healthy gums and perfectly nice teeth…except for a highly visible upper front tooth which was knocked out in an accident. Even after thousands of dollars in cosmetic dentistry i. None of them brought it up, but if I liked them and it looked like there might be a second date, then I damn well made it a point to bring it up.
Had they mentioned it first I would have been mildly embarrassed, but also grateful for the opportunity to explain. And I'm in the process of maybe starting to date someone, to the point that I carefully read this question for similarities. Like bennett, I plan to bring it up myself if she doesn't.
I'm diabetic, and I've been through a period of immense family stress, and before that I had only intermittent access to dental insurance. If I'd taken care of myself beforehand, the periodontal wouldn't have been such a problem, but it's pretty much all water under the bridge pun half intended at this point. The fact is I look about as unattractive with my teeth now as I imagined I looked most of my life.
For various reasons, I went through multiple personal ordeals, and feel I've cleansed myself of some prior depressive and insecure traits to the extent that I'm ready to date again, but wasn't really expecting to pursue anything until I got the work done. Now I've met someone I click with, and damned if I don't regret every moment of my dental and systemic neglect that brought this on. I'm no longer disposed to be sensitive, though. I'm in a city with a lot of unfortunates and really, I have the option of cowering in my room or going about remaking my life I'm not making this about me, I'm trying to stand in for Anon's guy.
Mostly, I'm orthodontically stable right now, and I can eat most of what I want, but these practical considerations outweigh anything psychological. If I were him, I'd probably appreciate a tactful, neutral approach to the topic, such as "Can you eat X? It might open up a discussion, or you can judge by his reaction whether you want to even talk about it -- and through that whether his handling of the issue is in line with what you're looking for in a person.
I think my quarry is OK with it, maybe even has some positive spin on how well I'm handling myself in spite of it, but I really don't know. Original post by anonymous you found the perfect girl they were nice, caring, intelligent and could make you laugh. Follow 9 Na, I only date 10s. Follow 10 Original post by eilidhchambe Na, I only date 10s. Follow 11 If you really like her that surely wont matter and either way I am sure you can get braces or some kind of thing at most ages; or maybe I'm wrong?
Luke Follow 6 followers 20 badges Send a private message to Luke Follow 12 I dont think teeth been slightly out of line would be a deal breaker but then they should really have the effort to go to the dentist these days that sort of thing can be fixed. What I certainly would not date is tarter teeth its much more common then you would think and its amazing how many girls can get away without ever brushing their teeth yet have guys pursuing them aggressively. Follow 13 Original post by FloralLuxe Are you even a 10 yourself? Original post by Amefish I love that smile actually!
Original post by Anonymous Absolutely! Follow 15 I spend most of my time looking inside people's mouths, so if I were to date someone with a misaligned dentition, I'd keep staring at that one wonky tooth and it would really really bother me.
Are Crooked Teeth Ruining Your Love Life?
Someone with a wonky eye etc doesn't bother me. Dentist said I also need to remove 4 teeth, I have reaally similar teeth like yours! I was wondering the same thing!! Kindred Follow 69 followers 20 badges Send a private message to Kindred. Follow 18 This seems like more of a relationships post. I'll move it over there.
Follow 19 I wouldn't date someone with yellow or crooked teeth Original post by tinycharlie I wouldn't date someone with yellow or crooked teeth This forum is supported by: Gillette's new ad - what do you think? Corbyn's no confidence motion - follow here. Find your study group. GCSE resit results tomorrow - chat here. University of Oxford Replies: Friends, family and work Replies: News and current affairs Replies: Career sectors and graduate employment Replies: Business and management Replies: A New Hope Started by: Faith and Spirituality Replies: Count to a million Part 35 Started by: Model House of Commons Replies: Advice on everyday issues Replies: University of Cambridge Replies: Investment banking and consultancy Replies: Graduate Entry Medicine Entry Started by: How can I stop her?
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